


Sings the tune without the words

by Aces_and_Roses



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Fluff, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, also zolf/hamid is mentioned for like.. two lines, because i needed someone to be emotionally aware and it certainly wasn’t going to be sasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aces_and_Roses/pseuds/Aces_and_Roses
Summary: Azu’s been acting strange lately. Not bad-strange, not all all, just… strange.Written for day two of RQG Femslash Week!
Relationships: Azu/Sasha Racket
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24
Collections: RQG Femslash Week 2020





	Sings the tune without the words

**Author's Note:**

> Title from ""Hope" is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson

Azu’s been acting strange lately. Not bad-strange, not at all, just… strange. She’s twitchy and nervous, stuttering over her words in a way Sasha has never seen her do before. And she tenses every time Sasha enters the room, breath hitching when she comes close.

Sasha wouldn’t even find that behaviour strange - people can have bad days, bad weeks, even, and she would never judge Azu for something like that - if it weren’t for one very important fact: she’s only acting like that around Sasha.

She still hugs Hamid, even lifting him clear off the ground when she’s particularly pleased, their laughter bright and loud. She still talks to Zolf and Grizzop, words smooth and sure, no hesitation to speak of. She’s still at ease with Cel, loose and relaxed, breathing easy.

Sasha doesn’t know what she did wrong. Because she must have done something, there’s no other reason why Azu would suddenly become so uncomfortable with her, but no one else. She must have done something that scared her, made her stop trusting her.

Sasha just wishes she knew what it was; at least then she could try to fix it.

That’s not to say she doesn’t try to fix it anyway, because she does, she tries everything she can think of.

She tries to spend more time with her, in case she’s been feeling… neglected, but all that seems to do is make Azu more tense, uncomfortable. So, Sasha gives her space, keeps her distance, but Azu just gets upset.

She tries giving her gifts, small things she’s nicked from someplace or other, but Azu just looks like she’s about to cry. When she tries to take them back, though, Azu refuses vehemently.

Sasha just doesn’t understand, it doesn’t make any sense. She hates it, hates not knowing what’s going on hates that, as time goes on, it seems less and less likely that they’ll ever get back to normal.

Hamid, Grizzop, and Cel aren’t any help either; none of them have noticed any difference in Azu’s behaviour at all! It’s only when she complains to Zolf that the pieces start falling into place.

“I just, I don’t get it, mate. I don’t know what I did, and she isn’t telling me, and I can’t- I can’t fix it if I don’t know,” Sasha says as she tosses a dagger idly in the air and catches it again.

Zolf makes a puzzled noise from where he sits next to her (only flinching a little bit as the dagger spins through the space next to his head). “What are you talking about? Azu’s not upset with you.”

“Course she is. Why else would she be acting so weird?”

Zolf sighs, shaking his head slowly. “Do you- do you remember a couple months ago, when Hamid was being all weird with me?”

“Yeah, sure I do.” She remembers it very, very clearly. Hamid had been treating Zolf strangely for almost a month; avoiding him, getting all nervous whenever he was around. By the end of it both of them were nearly despondent. That was, until Azu had talked some sense into them. “Don’t get how that has to do with Azu being weird, though.”

“Sounds to me like she’s being the same kind of weird Hamid was.”

But that would mean- “No, she’s- she’s not. We’re not, I mean, she wouldn’t…” Sasha trails off, not sure how to continue.

“Why wouldn’t she?” Zolf asks, deadpan.

“Well, she’s- she’s her,” Sasha stutters, “and I’m me. She’s… good.”

Zolf sighs again, heavier this time. “Just- you should talk to her. You’ll both be miserable if you don’t.”

Sasha huffs, ready to protest, but the look on Zolf’s face tells her that argument will get her nowhere, so she relents. She still doesn’t believe him, though, not even a little. Why would Azu feel anything for her? She’s nothing special, nowhere near as good and sweet. Nowhere near enough for her.

(She won’t hope.)

But, even if she isn’t convinced by Zolf’s reasons for Azu acting strangely, she knows she should still try to talk to her. At the very least, she wants to know what she did wrong so she can fix it, and then they can go back to normal.

* * *

It’s a lot harder than she’d thought it would be to get Azu alone. It makes sense, Sasha supposes; just because Sasha has decided to fix whatever the problem is doesn’t mean that Azu realizes that. Of course, she’s still avoiding her, just the same as she was before.

After about a week of trying, however, Sasha finally manages it. Hamid and Zolf had gone to dinner (date night, as Hamid only semi-jokingly called it), and one pointed look at Zolf (followed by one whispered conversation between Zolf and Hamid) had managed to convince him to get Cel and Grizzop to go with them. Azu had already gone to her room for the night, so she wasn’t around to think it was strange that she hadn’t been invited along.

Now was the hard part; standing in front of Azu’s door, trying to convince herself to knock, no matter how desperately she doesn’t want to.

(What if there’s nothing Sasha can do to fix it? What if whatever she’s done is so horrible that there’s no going back? At least for now she can live in denial, can believe that eventually she and Azu will get back to normal. She doesn’t know what she’ll do if she finds out that they won’t, that they can’t.)

Her dilemma resolves itself, however, as Azu opens the door suddenly, freezing when she sees Sasha standing on the other side. She smiles, and it still seems genuine, despite the obvious tension in the set of her shoulders.

“Ah, Sasha, I was just about to-”

“We need to talk,” Sasha interrupts, knowing full well that if she doesn’t say it now, she never will.

Azu seems to deflate, at that, her shoulders drooping even as she steps aside to let Sasha in. “What about?” she asks, her voice bright, but hollow.

Sasha takes a deep breath, steeling herself, and sees Azu do the same. “You- you’ve been acting weird, lately.”

“Have I?” Azu responds, which… doesn’t make sense. Surely if Sasha has done something wrong, Azu would be eager to have her fix it, make it better. Why would she lie?

(Sasha won’t hope, she won’t.)

“Yeah, right strange. And I-” Sasha pauses, wishing that she had one of her daggers with her, just for something to fiddle with, something to focus on other than how uncomfortable Azu looks. “I- I know I must have done something wrong. I just- If you’d tell me what it was, I could fix it, and we- we could go back to normal.”

Azu tilts her head, brows furrowed like she’s confused. “What- what are you talking about?”

“You’re mad at me, or something, that’s why you’re being weird. So, I must have done something wrong.”

(She won’t hope. All hope does is hurt.)

“Sasha, I’m not angry with you,” Azu says, shaking her head, a sad smile on her face. “That is… that is not why I’m behaving strangely.”

“Why, then?”

Azu takes a step forward, toward Sasha, and reaches out slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away if she wants. When Sasha doesn’t, she lays a gentle hand on her shoulder, lightly squeezing. “I care about you a great deal. More… more than a friend should.” Sasha’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out her chest, her internal warnings about hope stuttering to a stop as Azu continues. “I was keeping my distance. I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”

Sasha can’t speak, all her words trapped in her throat as she tries to process what Azu just told her. Because that can’t be right, Azu doesn’t care about her like that. Why would she? But there’s no other way to interpret what she just said. So, Sasha swallows, braces herself, then lays one hand on top of where Azu’s rests on her shoulder. “You don’t, uh, don’t have to worry about making me uncomfortable. I- I feel… like that. Too. Same- same as you.”

Azu’s face brightens, a smile blossoming across it as dazzling as the sun. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Sasha finds herself smiling as well. Not nearly as brightly as Azu, but enough for her to notice.

“That is wonderful! Can I- can I hug you?”

Sasha nods, and Azu removes her hand from her shoulder, wrapping both arms around her, and Sasha hugs her back. The hug is warm, secure, and Sasha feels safer than she has in a long, long time. Like nothing could ever hurt her if she just stayed right there in Azu’s arms forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at redactedquill!


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